K E Garland shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
K E, really appreciate you sharing your stories and insights with us. The world would have so much more understanding and empathy if we all were a bit more open about our stories and how they have helped shaped our journey and worldview. Let’s jump in with a fun one: What are you most proud of building — that nobody sees?
I most proud of building sovereignty. It is challenging to learn to create your own values and beliefs, apart from what society deems as so-called “normal.” It takes a lot to develop a life built on what you think is important, as opposed to something pre-set by religion or family.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is K E Garland, and my brand is primarily focused on inspiring people to be themselves, while also demarginalizing specific issues. I am an essayist, storyteller, and memoirist who uses writing to help others think critically about their place in the world. I am also co-founder of a nonprofit called, Black Adoptees Meetup, which centers Black adoptees’ experiences in the world.
Amazing, so let’s take a moment to go back in time. What’s a moment that really shaped how you see the world?
My mother died when I was sixteen years old. She had adopted me when I was ten months old, thus her death left a void. However, my mother’s transition showed me that we could literally be here one moment and gone the next. It was jarring, but it really kickstarted my path. I learned at an early age that our lives our finite. When most teenagers couldn’t fathom that life would one day end, I knew firsthand that it would. Because of that, I set out to live every day as if it was my last.
When did you stop hiding your pain and start using it as power?
I stopped hiding my pain and using it as power in 2015. That’s when I started my first blog, Kwoted on WordPress. Instead of allowing thoughts about my mother’s death, my father’s abandonment, and my birth mother’s relinquishment to ruminate in my mind, blogging allowed me to think deeply about these experiences and share them with the world as a source of inspiration. Blogging not only helped me to process my emotions, but it also helped others to feel less isolated.
I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. Is the public version of you the real you?
My public version of me is the real me, but this wasn’t always the case. As an adoptee, I’d learned to mask who I was, to people please, and to shape shift to become who others wanted me to be, so I could belong. As I aged, this became an exhausting way to exist. Over time, I learned who I was at my core. I investigated my hobbies, what made me happy, what my hopes and dreams were. I learned what my identity was, and now, my public version is definitely the real me.
Okay, so before we go, let’s tackle one more area. What is the story you hope people tell about you when you’re gone?
I hope that people will say I showed them how to be authentic; that through my writing, specifically, my debut memoir, In Search of a Salve: Memoir of a Sex Addict, they learned the importance of telling the truth and of leaning into a life of self-accountability.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://kegarland.com
- Instagram: @kegarland
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@kathygarland2868
- Other: kwoted.wordpress.com
kegarland.substack.com
Image Credits
Tarji Stewart
Mariia Mili
