Today we’d like to introduce you to PeTika Tave.
Hi PeTika, it’s an honor to have you on the platform. Thanks for sharing your story with us – to start, maybe you can share some of your backstory with our readers.
My story began when I was a child. Growing up was hard being tall and, as the doctors referred to me, overweight, then obese. I can remember being in the 99th percentile for height and weight my entire life. While my grades and academic accomplishments were always revered and celebrated, the constant reminder about my weight became the focus of my doctor visits. Not from my parents, per se, but rather the necessity of the doctor to warn my parents of what could result if we didn’t get my weight under control. And so it began. By the time I reached 8th grade, I was 300 lbs. When I was 22, I maxed out at 427 lbs. I was a new mom, incredibly sad, and had a choice to make – “live for my son or die food.” By this time, I was in college at the illustrious Florida Agricultural and Mechanical University. I was on a full academic scholarship, and everything was great, except my self-esteem. My confidence began to erode early as I noticed how large I was compared to my peers. My parents had always told me how beautiful and smart I was, but those words didn’t stick. I was hurting inside because I didn’t feel like I was enough. My siblings didn’t struggle the way I did with weight. Their builds and body composition differed significantly from mine.
In 2003, once I decided that I needed to make changes in my life, if not for myself, then for the sake of my son, I went on to lose nearly 200 lbs. through healthy eating and exercise while on Weight Watchers. In 2006, I won their Inspiring Stories of the Year for the Southeast region and even appeared on the Today Show. In 2009, when I found out I was having my daughter, I knew I needed to prepare her for the possibility of being taller and heavier than all of her peers. Even before she was born, I wrote her a series of poems to ensure she never questioned her worth.
Fast forward 10 years. Then, I published my first children’s book, “Beautiful As You Are,” to affirm all girls so that they are confident in who they are, just the way they are. The book used over a decade of experience as an educator and all of my personal experiences to create a resource for parents and adults to check on the self-talk of their girls and go beyond simple affirmations. Adults must have open conversations with kids to ensure they are not silently suffering internally.
People loved the book so much that I was encouraged to write a book for boys.
So, I did. It is titled “Brilliant As You Are.” It is an affirming book that teaches boys to love themselves, inside and out, just the way they are. After attending my first vending event, The Melanin Market, in September 2021, we knew we had something special. I say “we” because my daughter and I are a dynamic duo that work together to spread the messages of our books and related products to the masses.
Today, we have three children’s books, tote bags, greeting cards, affirming wooden puzzles, and two new books on the way – the first being a book by Zandria, my daughter – to be released this Spring. It’s her first.
Together, we have sold thousands of books and hundreds of our puzzles. It’s crazy to think that the poems I wrote to my daughter are now touching the lives of children all across America and even in other countries. We have a thriving business poised to grow and are so thankful to be in this space.
Can you talk to us about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned? Looking back, has it been easy or smooth in retrospect?
It has not been a smooth road, but nothing worth having ever comes easy. It took 10 years to publish my first book because once I decided to try to use my words to help all children, I started sending my work to different publishers. The publishing industry is brutal, and I kept getting rejection letters. I contacted about 10-20 publishers before realizing that being a no-name person without an agent and with a non-fiction book for children, the odds were not in my favor. So, when my daughter was finally born, I had to focus on being a mom to my children and let the book idea go.
In 2019, my colleague, Monica Knighton, published her first book and agreed to share her knowledge with me over lunch. I took as many notes as possible, and she told me I could do this. I was able to self-publish my books, which is now our family business. That was one struggle. I had to persevere through rejection.
The subsequent struggle was navigating the world of becoming a business owner and selling books. I’m naturally shy, but most people who know me now wouldn’t believe it. Marketing and selling your products is not for the faint of hearts, and I had to break out of my shell to learn to talk to and network with others.
Self-publishing books requires capital, and I have had two unsuccessful Kickstarter campaigns. That didn’t stop me, though. I am firmly committed to spreading awareness about children’s self-esteem and am willing to invest my own money to make my book business successful.
Thanks – so, what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I help start the conversation between children and their parents about their feelings. I also encourage adults to talk to their children to ensure they don’t have negative self-talk or low esteem. My struggle was with weight. Other children may struggle with their freckles, hair, academic ability, speech, whatever! With my daughter’s help, I help raise awareness of the need to recognize and address any feelings of self-doubt in children so they do not silently suffer from feelings of inadequacy.
We do this with my affirming books and related products on our website and at local markets around town. My daughter recently created affirming tote bags and greeting cards to complement our books. One day, while at a market, another artisan who makes wooden puzzles loved our book so much that she asked to make puzzles for our books. I was thrilled, and we created an affirming wooden puzzle that helps keep the conversation going with children and adults about things they are proud of each week, times when they had to walk tall, and what it means to believe in themselves.
I know I keep interchanging “children talking with parents” and “children talking with adults” because I am so thrilled that our books and puzzles are embraced by many doctors, counselors, psychologists, teachers, aunts, uncles, grandparents, godparents, friends, cousins – basically, anyone that has or knows a child. How our products are created encourages anyone who cares about children to ensure they check on their esteem. This is what I am so proud of.
What sets our books apart from others is that this topic addresses children’s emotional needs. Too often, parents get laser-focused on academics. It’s important to understand that confident children usually do very well in school because they are not afraid to ask for help or try challenging things. As an educator, I have taught in lower-performing schools and a school for the academically talented. Regardless of grades, these children must know they are loved and are enough. Our books focus on this and go beyond simply making affirming statements. We promote having affirming conversations. My lived experiences, coupled with my professional experience, give me a unique perspective to provide children and parents the best I can offer to make sure children grow up confident and strong. Not many people can offer that level of in-depth connectivity.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.BayaBooks.com
- Instagram: www.instagram.com/authorpetika
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/bayabooks
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pmtave/
- Other: https://linktr.ee/authorpetika
